It’s a common question: should I talk to my ex? Or even, should I text my ex?
If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s normal to feel uncertain when your partner talks to their ex. In some cases, like co-parenting, communication is necessary. In others, lingering conversations can cause jealousy or doubt.
Navigating these situations requires understanding, boundaries, and open communication. At OPPAM, we believe that addressing these issues thoughtfully can transform your relationship, build trust, and promote emotional security.
Why Boundaries Matter When Your Partner Talks to Their Ex
Boundaries protect your emotional safety and create a secure foundation in your relationship.
Key reasons for boundaries:
- Emotional protection: Prevents confusion and emotional hurt.
- Respect: Ensures your current relationship is prioritized.
- Clarity: Prevents assumptions and misunderstandings.
Should I Talk to My Ex or Text My Ex?
Many people wonder: should I talk to my ex? Should I text my ex?
It depends on:
- Your intentions: Are you seeking closure or co-parenting, or is it a habit?
- Your current relationship: Will it strengthen or harm it?
- Boundaries in place: Are you and your partner on the same page?
If you’re constantly thinking about your ex, you might be asking: how to stop thinking about your ex? That’s a sign it’s time to shift focus and invest in your current relationship.
Building Trust When Your Partner Talks to Their Ex
Trust is built on more than just words; it’s shown through actions and transparency.
- Transparency: Be open about the reasons for communication.
- Open conversations: Talk about your feelings and concerns.
- Consistent behavior: Show through actions that you’re prioritizing your relationship.
Example:
Alex co-parents with Jamie and keeps conversations strictly focused on their child’s needs. Alex regularly shares updates with their current partner, reinforcing trust and respect.
Dealing with Jealousy and Insecurity
Feeling jealous when your partner talks to their ex is normal. Here’s how to manage it:
- Self-reflection: Ask yourself why you feel jealous—fear of loss, old wounds, or feeling compared to the ex?
- Communicate openly: Use “I” statements like, “I feel uneasy when you text your ex…”
- Reassurance: Affirm your love and commitment to one another.
- Focus on the present: Don’t let the past overshadow your current bond.
How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex
If you’re stuck on how to stop thinking about your ex, try these steps:
- Limit contact: Avoid unnecessary interactions.
- Shift focus: Engage in activities that build your current relationship.
- Seek support: Talk to a therapist if you need help letting go.
- Self-care: Prioritise your mental and emotional well-being.
Setting Healthy Boundaries When Your Partner Talks to Their Ex
Boundaries aren’t about controlling your partner—they’re about mutual respect.
How to set boundaries:
- Discuss them together: Share your feelings and limits.
- Limit emotional topics: Keep conversations focused and appropriate.
- Prioritise your relationship: Your partner’s comfort comes first.
- Adjust as needed: Boundaries can change as trust grows.
Rebuilding Trust After Boundaries Are Crossed
If a boundary is crossed—like oversharing with an ex—it takes effort to rebuild trust.
- Acknowledge the hurt: Be honest about how it affected the relationship.
- Have open conversations: Discuss what happened and how to prevent it in the future.
- Show consistent change: Rebuilding trust happens through actions, not just words.
- Set new boundaries: Protect your relationship moving forward.
Communicating Your Needs in a Relationship
Expressing your needs helps create a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
How to communicate:
Use “I” statements: “I feel…”, “I need…”
Be specific: Clearly state what would help you feel secure.
Listen actively: Let your partner share their perspective.
Collaborate: Work together to create solutions.
Emotional Boundaries with Exes
Setting emotional boundaries protects your relationship and well-being.
Tips:
- Avoid oversharing personal feelings with an ex.
- Make sure your partner feels safe and valued.
- Recognise emotional triggers and take care of your mental health.
- Seek counselling if needed.
When to Seek Professional Relationship Counselling
If jealousy, insecurity, or boundary issues are causing distress, therapy can help.
OPPAM’s online relationship counselling offers:
- A safe space to express your feelings
- Tools for building trust and setting boundaries
- Support for dealing with jealousy and rebuilding intimacy
24×7 online counselling support, available whenever you need it
Key Takeaways for a Healthy Relationship
- Boundaries create safety and trust.
- Trust grows through transparency and consistent action.
- Jealousy is normal—talk about it openly.
- If you’re feeling stuck, seeking professional help is a sign of strength.
Ready to Build a Stronger Relationship?
Book a session with OPPAM’s expert therapists today and take the first step towards healthier boundaries and deeper trust.
