Emotional regulation
Have you watched the Tamil movie ‘Irugapatru’? The movie portrays the problems that arise in a relationship. It’s about a family that visits a family therapist and deals with their issues. I feel like sharing a story about a relationship here.
A couple who loved each other and got married soon decide to divorce. Before that, they decide to visit a family therapist, which makes a huge difference in their lives.In their relationship, communication is very minimal. When the husband says something, the wife doesn’t respond or react. For some days, the wife has been acting indifferent and expressionless. The husband constantly complains that the chatter and conversation they had before marriage are no longer present after marriage. Additionally, he gets very frustrated with his wife’s behavior.
In the second or third couple therapy session, both individuals gradually begin to recognize their own problems, mistakes, and shortcomings. The wife says that she no longer receives the love and appreciation from her husband that she used to before and after their marriage, but instead receives only accusations. This realization corrects the husband’s notion that he had no faults. The husband also expresses that his wife doesn’t openly communicate with him and approaches life with laziness.
Due to their inability to sit down and talk or communicate effectively, they develop major misunderstandings and problems. This gradually leads them to a state where they find it difficult to live together.In the final therapy sessions, having accurately understood their shortcomings, they are able to correct them through effective communication. This is where the importance of effective communication in a relationship becomes apparent.
- We often see problems in our homes, among friends, and within families. Lack of clarity in communication or misunderstandings can lead to major issues in relationships.
- After a problem arises, we often fail to sit down and carefully analyze the issue. Many times, we tend to find faults only on one person’s part, thereby creating more problems.
- Couples counselling is an effective way to understand the real problem and become vulnerable in a relationship. Online couple counselling and online therapy are also becoming increasingly viable options, as they can be accessed from anywhere and at any time.
- Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. Being able to communicate clearly and accurately is a vital life skill. Many problems arise in relationships due to lack of open communication and misunderstandings.
Discover the importance of healthy communication and how it can positively impact your relationships and overall well being. Read on to learn more!
WHAT IS COMMUNICATION ?
- Communication is the process of exchanging information between individuals or groups. In short, communication is the process by which people share information.
- As a social being, humans cannot survive without constantly interacting with others. Therefore, communication is an essential means of connecting and interacting with others.
- Communication is a life skill that can be learned and developed. Effective communication can be achieved through practice and exercises. Online couple counselling and online therapy can also be utilized. Developing good communication skills can greatly benefit our personal and professional relationships.
- Effective communication is crucial, and it’s essential to understand how to use verbal and non-verbal communication correctly. Without a clear understanding of these concepts, problems can arise in relationships.
In such situations, online couple counselling can be utilized to better understand and develop effective communication skills. This can help individuals learn how to communicate effectively, avoiding misunderstandings and strengthening their relationships.
ROLE OF COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Effective communication plays a vital role in any relationship, be it personal or professional. Communication helps build trust, understanding, and intimacy in relationships.
Understanding each other
- Effective and clear communication is crucial in relationships. The foundation of a healthy relationship is understanding each other accurately. Sometimes, individuals may struggle to achieve this.
- In such cases, online couple counselling can be beneficial. Additionally, online couple counselling can improve communication in relationships. Couple therapists, online couple counselling, and Oppam online therapy can provide clients with accurate awareness and address all concerns.
- By Utilizing these resources, individuals can enhance their communication skills, leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.
Understanding your partners preferences and concerns
In a relationship, it’s essential to clearly understand your partner’s interests, preferences, problems, and concerns. If not, the relationship may become one-sided. Such relationships often lead to problems and conflicts.
Open communication
Through open communication and asking questions, you can understand each other to a certain extent. This helps prevent misunderstandings and strengthens the bond between partners.
Mutual respect and empathy
When communicating with mutual respect, genuine conversations occur. In most cases, mistakes in communication lead to major misunderstandings.
- Empathetic communication is essential to avoid this. When validation doesn’t occur correctly in communication, negative emotions and problems escalate significantly in relationships.
Trust and Gaslighting
Trust is a vital part of any relationship. Open communication helps maintain trust and reduces gaslighting in relationships.
- Sometimes, gaslighting may not be immediately apparent. However, when such issues arise, seeking online couple counseling and Oppam online therapy can be beneficial in improving relationships.
- Gaslighting can be subtle, but its effects can be damaging. Recognizing the signs and seeking help is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.
Creating a healthy environment
There should be an environment where issues, dislikes, disagreements, and differences of opinion can be openly discussed.
Addressing small problems also
Avoiding problems by only saying nice things can lead to bigger issues. Small problems should also be addressed. This is where your partner develops an accurate understanding of you. Developing such an understanding makes a relationship healthy.
Create a democratic environment
Disagreements and differences of opinion should be democratically evaluated. When you feel unable to resolve them, consider seeking help from a couples therapist or an online couple therapist who speaks your language, such as a Malayali online therapist.
More appreciation less blame games
Most people desire appreciation and encouragement from their partners in relationships. As relationships progress, significant communication errors often occur. Communication in relationships often decreases over time, leading to major blame games. This creates problems in most relationships.
Identify the exact problem, its source, and its solution
Thinking that only one person is right in a relationship is completely wrong. A healthy environment should be created to discuss matters accurately. Through effective communication, the exact problem, its source, and solution can be identified.If creating such a healthy environment isn’t possible, consider seeking help from a couple therapist who speaks your language such as malayali couple therapist and online couple therapy for support.
Pay active attention
When your partner communicates, try not to interrupt and focus on what they’re attempting to convey. Avoid distractions like phones, computers, TVs, and other things, and instead, give importance to understanding their message. Otherwise, there’s a possibility of major misunderstandings in communication.
Emotional regulation
Some people struggle to express their emotions. In a relationship, it’s essential to express emotions accurately and communicate about them. If you’re experiencing such difficulties, consider seeking Oppam online therapy for support.
Anger
Anger is often the factor that leads to major issues in relationships. Even when angry, it’s essential to maintain respect and courtesy in words and actions. This can only be achieved through proper practice. Utilizing online couple counselling services can help improve relationships. Additionally, Oppam online therapy can be beneficial in controlling anger.
Is maintaining silence okay?
There’s no harm in maintaining silence when a problem arises. However, silence isn’t always the best solution in every situation. It’s essential to confront the problem accurately, communicate effectively, and work together to find a solution.
Emotional awareness
Taking time to understand emotions and feelings in a problem is essential. If you can’t understand and regulate them, problems will arise in the relationship. Being unable to regulate emotions and lacking emotional awareness can destroy the relationship. Online therapy and online couple counselling can be beneficial in regulating emotions and gaining emotional awareness.
Please focus on the present
Avoiding judgment in relationships from the beginning improves communication and helps relationships flourish.
Pay attention to voice and tone
In some cases, being conscious of tone and voice can also help avoid issues.
FOUR HORSEMEN OF APOCALYPSE
John Gottman’s communication model is based on his research on successful and unsuccessful relationships. He identified four negative communication patterns, known as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” that can predict the demise of a relationship. Here’s an overview of his model:
The Four Horsemen
- Criticism: Attacking or blaming your partner, often with a tone of contempt.
- Defensiveness: Becoming overly defensive or dismissive when your partner expresses concerns.
- Contempt: Displaying disdain or disrespect towards your partner.
- Stonewalling: Withdrawing or shutting down communication, often as a way to avoid conflict.
The Antidotes
To counteract these negative patterns, Gottman recommends the following:
- Criticism → Gentle Start-Up: Express concerns gently, without blaming or attacking.
- Defensiveness → Take Responsibility: Listen actively, acknowledge your partner’s concerns, and take responsibility for your actions.
- Contempt → Show Appreciation: Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner.
- Stonewalling → Practice Active Listening: Engage in active listening, ask open-ended questions, and show interest in your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
By recognizing and replacing the Four Horsemen with their antidotes, couples can improve their communication, strengthen their relationship, and build a more positive and supportive partnership. There are ways to address some mistakes we knowingly or unknowingly make in our communication. If we can’t correct or resolve them on our own, seeking family counselling or couple therapy can be beneficial.
WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO?
Healthy boundaries
Creating and maintaining healthy relationship boundaries is beneficial. Creating and maintaining comfortable boundaries by understanding your and your partner’s interests, preferences, and dislikes can help avoid major issues in relationships. Communication is key to establishing and maintaining such boundaries
Active listener
Being a good active listener is crucial. Listening attentively and with interest in communication also makes relationships healthier. Not just speaking, but also listening to what your partner has to say can bring significant changes to relationships.
Validate your emotions
Providing proper validation and attention is also essential. Emotional awareness makes a relationship excellent. When you accurately understand your partner’s emotions and provide proper validation, they’re more likely to open up and communicate with you. This helps maintain a healthy relationship
Eye contact
Maintaining proper eye contact during communication is beneficial. When you maintain proper eye contact, it shows that you’re interested in communicating. However, if you ignore your partner while they’re speaking and fail to provide eye contact, it can convey a lack of interest in continuing the conversation. This can gradually lead to issues
Identify your communication patterns
Open communication is always the best. Everyone’s communication pattern is different, and recognizing those patterns can improve communication, thereby strengthening the relationship. For that, Oppam online therapy and couple therapist services can also be utilized. Online couple counselling and Oppam online therapy can be utilized for ways to improve communication in relationships and exercises.
If communication becomes a challenge in a relationship, it’s essential to seek online couple counseling or contact a couple therapist without delay. Once you realize that issues in your relationship are due to ineffective communication, be prepared to seek couple counselling without delay.
Online couple counseling can be effectively utilized anywhere. The ‘Oppam’ team is with you to provide the right communication patterns and counselling. Our online couple counselling and Oppam online therapy can be availed to improve communication and relationships. Additionally, couple’s therapy services can also be utilized. ‘Oppam’ is a platform that Malayalis can effectively use. If you’re searching for a Malayali couple therapist, ‘Oppam’ is the best solution. It can be effectively utilized.
May you have more involvement in healthy relationships with open communication.
