
Emotional regulation
Have you watched the Tamil movie ‘Irugapatru’? The movie portrays the problems that arise in a relationship. It’s about a family that visits a family therapist and deals with their issues. I feel like sharing a story about a relationship here.
A couple who loved each other and got married soon decide to divorce. Before that, they decide to visit a family therapist, which makes a huge difference in their lives.In their relationship, communication is very minimal. When the husband says something, the wife doesn’t respond or react. For some days, the wife has been acting indifferent and expressionless. The husband constantly complains that the chatter and conversation they had before marriage are no longer present after marriage. Additionally, he gets very frustrated with his wife’s behavior.
In the second or third couple therapy session, both individuals gradually begin to recognize their own problems, mistakes, and shortcomings. The wife says that she no longer receives the love and appreciation from her husband that she used to before and after their marriage, but instead receives only accusations. This realization corrects the husband’s notion that he had no faults. The husband also expresses that his wife doesn’t openly communicate with him and approaches life with laziness.
Due to their inability to sit down and talk or communicate effectively, they develop major misunderstandings and problems. This gradually leads them to a state where they find it difficult to live together.In the final therapy sessions, having accurately understood their shortcomings, they are able to correct them through effective communication. This is where the importance of effective communication in a relationship becomes apparent.
- We often see problems in our homes, among friends, and within families. Lack of clarity in communication or misunderstandings can lead to major issues in relationships.
- After a problem arises, we often fail to sit down and carefully analyze the issue. Many times, we tend to find faults only on one person’s part, thereby creating more problems.
- Couples counselling is an effective way to understand the real problem and become vulnerable in a relationship. Online couple counselling and online therapy are also becoming increasingly viable options, as they can be accessed from anywhere and at any time.
- Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. Being able to communicate clearly and accurately is a vital life skill. Many problems arise in relationships due to lack of open communication and misunderstandings.
Discover the importance of healthy communication and how it can positively impact your relationships and overall well being. Read on to learn more!
WHAT IS COMMUNICATION ?
- Communication is the process of exchanging information between individuals or groups. In short, communication is the process by which people share information.
- As a social being, humans cannot survive without constantly interacting with others. Therefore, communication is an essential means of connecting and interacting with others.
- Communication is a life skill that can be learned and developed. Effective communication can be achieved through practice and exercises. Online couple counselling and online therapy can also be utilized. Developing good communication skills can greatly benefit our personal and professional relationships.
- Effective communication is crucial, and it’s essential to understand how to use verbal and non-verbal communication correctly. Without a clear understanding of these concepts, problems can arise in relationships.
In such situations, online couple counselling can be utilized to better understand and develop effective communication skills. This can help individuals learn how to communicate effectively, avoiding misunderstandings and strengthening their relationships.

ROLE OF COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Understanding each other
- Effective and clear communication is crucial in relationships. The foundation of a healthy relationship is understanding each other accurately. Sometimes, individuals may struggle to achieve this.
- In such cases, online couple counselling can be beneficial. Additionally, online couple counselling can improve communication in relationships. Couple therapists, online couple counselling, and Oppam online therapy can provide clients with accurate awareness and address all concerns.
- By Utilizing these resources, individuals can enhance their communication skills, leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.
Understanding your partners preferences and concerns
Open communication
Mutual respect and empathy
- Empathetic communication is essential to avoid this. When validation doesn’t occur correctly in communication, negative emotions and problems escalate significantly in relationships.
Trust and Gaslighting
Trust is a vital part of any relationship. Open communication helps maintain trust and reduces gaslighting in relationships.
- Sometimes, gaslighting may not be immediately apparent. However, when such issues arise, seeking online couple counseling and Oppam online therapy can be beneficial in improving relationships.
- Gaslighting can be subtle, but its effects can be damaging. Recognizing the signs and seeking help is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.
Creating a healthy environment
Addressing small problems also
Create a democratic environment
More appreciation less blame games
Most people desire appreciation and encouragement from their partners in relationships. As relationships progress, significant communication errors often occur. Communication in relationships often decreases over time, leading to major blame games. This creates problems in most relationships.
Identify the exact problem, its source, and its solution
Pay active attention
Emotional regulation
Anger
Is maintaining silence okay?
Emotional awareness
Please focus on the present
Pay attention to voice and tone
In some cases, being conscious of tone and voice can also help avoid issues.
FOUR HORSEMEN OF APOCALYPSE
John Gottman’s communication model is based on his research on successful and unsuccessful relationships. He identified four negative communication patterns, known as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” that can predict the demise of a relationship. Here’s an overview of his model:
The Four Horsemen
- Criticism: Attacking or blaming your partner, often with a tone of contempt.
- Defensiveness: Becoming overly defensive or dismissive when your partner expresses concerns.
- Contempt: Displaying disdain or disrespect towards your partner.
- Stonewalling: Withdrawing or shutting down communication, often as a way to avoid conflict.
The Antidotes
- Criticism → Gentle Start-Up: Express concerns gently, without blaming or attacking.
- Defensiveness → Take Responsibility: Listen actively, acknowledge your partner’s concerns, and take responsibility for your actions.
- Contempt → Show Appreciation: Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner.
- Stonewalling → Practice Active Listening: Engage in active listening, ask open-ended questions, and show interest in your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO?
Healthy boundaries
Active listener
Validate your emotions
Eye contact
Identify your communication patterns
Open communication is always the best. Everyone’s communication pattern is different, and recognizing those patterns can improve communication, thereby strengthening the relationship. For that, Oppam online therapy and couple therapist services can also be utilized. Online couple counselling and Oppam online therapy can be utilized for ways to improve communication in relationships and exercises.
If communication becomes a challenge in a relationship, it’s essential to seek online couple counseling or contact a couple therapist without delay. Once you realize that issues in your relationship are due to ineffective communication, be prepared to seek couple counselling without delay.
Online couple counseling can be effectively utilized anywhere. The ‘Oppam’ team is with you to provide the right communication patterns and counselling. Our online couple counselling and Oppam online therapy can be availed to improve communication and relationships. Additionally, couple’s therapy services can also be utilized. ‘Oppam’ is a platform that Malayalis can effectively use. If you’re searching for a Malayali couple therapist, ‘Oppam’ is the best solution. It can be effectively utilized.
May you have more involvement in healthy relationships with open communication.